vision ... Bill ... Reality, dreams, ambitions ... are all synonyms of the same, pain. life there is only a representation of ourselves, life is what we want to be.
been three months locked in my apartment, but it is not can not leave ... i do not want. Every day it becomes more difficult to stop, the light of day and burns my eyes, my skin is getting paler, and my fear of people, growing. Perhaps
panic, but I know myself. Just know that I'm slowly running out of life, without talking, shut up in my dreams and desires. I live in my fantasies, I am too cowardly to make.
Without realizing it, or perhaps deliberately, I created my catharsis, my communion with the inner self that I am, I created a form of escapism that helps me not to leave, to stay inert in my space. My cell, my house.
just saying to myself:
"I am a sad
I'm a loner
a waste of humanity as I can be distant from the person on my side "
The truth is that this insanity to be me more than I can bear, not that
be me ... "Do not want to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's what comes out (... Bill ...)"
Yesterday, while I slept, I had an epiphany under the effect of some acid, I realized that
"all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself. That there is no death, life is only a dream and we are only our own imagination "
Using these words of others that are evoked from a puppet and selfish dream, but never lose the sense that no matter how many times you say or who says them, complete my illusions.
When I woke up I felt a fear never felt before. It was covered with a cold sweat, pale as could be, and with cuts on his arms, superficial cuts but did not remember. In my room there were five naked people, three women and two men. I approached them to see your face and can identify, but could not, did not know ... to none.
was still numb and dazed, dizzy and nauseated. After vomiting in the bathroom while I washed my face I noticed something that scared me even more, that was not my department, I looked around, saw nothing known, my head was spinning, a dizziness came over me, everything revolved around me or I environment revolved around me. Round, round, round only. In one of those landed in the mirror, only to realize the most frightening I've seen in my life. That the light reflected in the mirror was not me. That was not my face was completely different, I do not know who he was, did not recognize him, I tried but could not. I'm trapped in another body ... but ... Now I try, I can not, I delete, I can not remember my face, do not remember my real face ...
The hours pass and I stretched in bed, unable to close my eyes, staring at the ceiling, someone wakes up, is a woman, stands next to me and stares at me, caresses my face and tells me "Who are you, to what I can only answer" I do not know ...",
By telling me I tell myself " Not all drugs are good, some are excellent (... Bill ...) "
Dream thousand possibilities per second, but nothing is possible ...